1 Own yourself. This means to accept and embrace your habits,
your personality, the way you talk/look, your voice -- everything that makes
you “you.” Remember that you’re a unique person who has value and is worthy of
love and respect. Learning to be comfortable with yourself will help you
project confidence to others and live a happier life.
- Don’t apologize for traits that are part of you, like your personality, your voice, or habits. If there are traits you want to change, make sure you’re doing it for you and not because you feel like someone else has told you to. Make your decisions based on your values, not what others have declared you “should” do or be.
- Love your body. It’s unfortunate that in today’s world, both men and women are bombarded with images of how we’re “supposed” to look, dress, or behave. These stereotypical “ideals” can cause a lot of harm. (Over 91% of women, for example, feel unhappy with how they look.) Practice finding things to love about your body. Put sticky-notes with affirmations such as “You’re beautiful” or “You’re awesome” on your mirrors. Embrace that bodies come in an infinite variety and yours is unique to you.
- Make a list of your strengths. Be honest with yourself. Write down everything that you know or are good at, no matter how “minor” it may seem to you. You can scuba-dive? That’s awesome. You can network with others on a team? Sweet! You can make a frozen pizza without burning down the kitchen? You made some good grades. You sing in the bath. That’s good too!
- Don’t compare yourself negatively with others. Remind yourself of your options by listing and appreciating small, good or great fun moments that occur. Accept simple fun. For example, if you like to play games for a little while on Saturdays, don’t let others tell you that you’re silly or “too old” for things that bring you fun and relaxation. As long as your activities don’t cause you or other people pain or harm, don’t feel guilty about doing things you like -- no matter what other people suggest.
2 Set meaningful goals for yourself.
Take a good long look at your life, your values, and the person you want to be.
Set goals that are meaningful to you and accord with your core values. Research
suggests you’re more likely to achieve these goals and feel happier having done
so. Ask yourself some big questions, like “How do I want to grow?” or “What
impact do I want to have on the world?”
- Be realistic. If you’re five feet tall, your chances of stardom as a professional basketball player aren’t great. Making realistic goals doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to what you know or can do now, just that you acknowledge your situation and abilities when you’re making your plans.
- Keep your goals action-oriented. It’s vital that you set goals that you can achieve. Remember that you can’t control what anyone else does or thinks, only what you do. Don’t set a goal that relies on others’ actions for success.
- Frame your goals positively. You’re more likely to achieve your goals if they’re framed as something you’re working toward, not something you’re running away from. For example, if you want to exercise more, don’t tell yourself to “Stop sitting around so much.” This kind of goal statement is negative and will make you feel negative. Instead, choose a positive goal that emphasizes action: “Take a 30-minute walk three times a week.”
3 Choose what makes you happy. (I copied this from other’s
Article) Scientists have tried for years to develop a formula for happiness,
and it turns out that being “chronically happy” (that is, feeling that
long-term satisfaction and contentment) does have a formula. Scientists
estimate that the perfect formula goes something like this: 50% genetic factors
(biology, brain chemistry, etc.), 10% circumstantial factors (income, job,
living situation), and 40% intentional activity (what you choose to do and
think regularly). Choosing activities and experiences that are
personally meaningful will really make a difference in your happiness level.
- The ability to choose is very important for happiness. In one study, participants either chose their own positive activity or had one assigned to them. The participants who chose their own activity and regularly participated in it were happier than participants who weren’t allowed to choose their own. If you feel like your life is restricting your choices, try to find ways to incorporate more freedom in your life.
- Studies have shown that feeling “awe,” or that feeling of overwhelming positivity when we see a beautiful work of art or visit a natural wonder, promotes happiness and well-being. When you can, indulge in whatever promotes that feeling of wonderment and amazement in your own life, such as listening to an incredible piece of music or going on a hike.
4 Focus on people, not things. The path to real happiness doesn’t
lie through an iPhone or a fancy car. In fact, research suggests that people
who are focused on material things are often trying to make up for other,
unfulfilled needs in their lives. Materialistic people are often less
happy with themselves and their lives than people who are less focused on
“stuff.” It’s fine to appreciate what you have, but remember that things won’t
bring you joy. They may even increase your likelihood of feeling sad or
fearful.
- Of course, you need to make enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, and clothing. If you’re living in poverty, you are far more likely to experience sadness and frustration than people who are economically comfortable, largely because of all the stress you’re under. Once you make enough to support basic needs, however, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.
5 Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Studies show that
humans can’t help but fall victim to the hedonic treadmill. We rapidly adjust
to change, even positive changes, and treat whatever’s in our lives as the new
status quo. That's why it's important to push
beyond your comfort zone to fuel personal growth.
- Research has consistently shown that we’re more productive when we’re just outside our comfort zone. This is called the zone of “optimal anxiety,” and it pushes us to take risks and try harder because we’re unfamiliar with our situation. However, if you go too far outside your comfort zone too fast, your performance will plummet again. Look for a balance of stability and trying new things.
- Taking risks and stepping outside your comfort zone offers many rewards. One of the most relevant for your happiness is increased resilience, or how you deal with unexpected challenges. By routinely challenging yourself to push past your comfort limits, you develop the adaptability and flexibility to handle change when it arises.
6 Smile. Science suggests that when you smile,
whether you're happy or not, your mood is elevated. This is especially true if
all your facial muscles, including the ones around your eyes, get involved. So smile whenever you can! Smiling is like a
feedback loop: smiling reinforces happiness, just as happiness causes smiling.
People who smile during painful procedures reported less pain than those who
kept their facial features neutral.
- Smiling releases endorphins, which are associated with pain relief, and serotonin, which is associated with happy feelings.
- Remember that different cultures interpret smiling differently. For example, Russian culture views smiling at strangers in the street as suspicious, while Americans will readily smile at almost anyone. Smile at others, but don’t get offended if they don’t return your gesture -- they may just have different traditions than you do.
7 Follow your intuition.
In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick a poster to take home.
One group was asked to analyze their decision, weighing pros and cons, and the
other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that
followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed
their decisions. Granted, some of our decisions are more crucial
than picking out posters, but often the options we’re agonizing over won’t have
a huge effect on our long-term happiness. The stress of weighing all the
options endlessly can make us unhappy, though.
- Intuition can be honed by experience. For example, experienced nurses are often good at identifying symptoms in an individual and using a combination of their medical knowledge and intuition -- built up from past experiences -- to make the right decisions for their patients. Obviously, if you’re a brand-new nurse, your intuition isn’t going to be as good as someone with more experience. However, if you’re dealing with something that you’re pretty familiar with -- or that doesn’t have huge consequences -- go with your gut. You’ll be right more often than not.
- Follow intuition in three domains or areas by using: your experience (heuristics); natural thinking relevantly, and incorporating your feeling, desires and satisfaction into decision-making. “Intuition” includes how your brain automatically stores and processes information relevant to your life and how you handle events.
- Enjoy learning something on your own using your experiences (heuristics) -- and draw on those experiences when making a decision.
- If you are trying to buy a new car, you already have a set of assumptions (schemas) you are taking with you into the decision-making process (domain) before you set foot at a dealership.
- You observe others' body language, vocal tone/inflections, moods and emotions (affect) associated with the decision you're attempting, and all contribute to your intuition, making your intuition more reliable than what some skeptics suggest.
- Start with the small decisions first. Start with small decisions and practice following your gut so that you know exactly what following your intuition feels like. The more you practice this, the more in-tune you will be with that gut instinct.
8 Treat your body like it deserves to be happy. Your brain isn't
the only organ in your body that deserves to be happy. Assure vigorous
exercise, a healthy diet, and regular sleep -- key factors in growing to be
happier and to stay that way. Achieve high levels of life satisfaction, better
physical health, for improved longevity.
- People who are physically active have higher incidences of enthusiasm and excitement. Scientists hypothesize that exercise causes the brain to release chemicals called endorphins that elevate our mood.
- Eat right. Eating healthy foods — fruits and vegetables, lean meats and proteins, whole grains, nuts, and seeds — gives your body and brain the energy it needs to be healthy. Research indicates that unhealthy diets, especially those rich in processed carbohydrates, sugars, and industrial vegetable fats, is responsible for some cell death, brain shrinkage and contributes to certain diseases like depression and dementia.
- Get enough restful sleep. Study after study confirms it: the more sleep you get, the happier you tend to be. Getting just a single extra hour of sleep per night makes the average person happier than making $60,000 more in annual income, astoundingly enough. Research has also showed that employees who get enough rest are more productive and successful. So if you're middle-aged, shoot to get at least eight hours of sleep per night; the young and elderly should shoot for 9 to 11 hours of sleep per night.
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