5 Determine your core values. Your core values
determine how you think about yourself, your life, and the world around you.
These beliefs guide your decision-making. They may be spiritual, or they may
not, but they’re the things that are fundamental to how you look at life.
For example, “commitment to excellence” could be a value, or
“dedication to family” or “belief in a higher power.” Whatever your values are,
research suggests that when you aren’t living your life and making choices that
are “value-congruent,” i.e., in line with your values, you’re likely to feel
unhappy and dissatisfied.
- Research suggests that when you are consciously aware of your values, you’re more likely to act in accordance with them. Take a little time and reflect on what is most important and meaningful in your life. You can think about times when you felt happiest or most satisfied and what the common factors in those situations may be, for example.
- Often, employees’ dissatisfaction with their jobs can be traced back to a mismatch in core values. If your company doesn’t value the same things you do, you’ll feel unhappy even if you like your work.
6 Visualize your “best possible self.” This is an
exercise that has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness and
well-being. It
involves two basic steps: visualizing how the “future you” looks when you’ve
achieved your goals, and identifying the characteristics you need to use (or
learn) to get you to where you want to be.
- Begin by imagining yourself in the future, when you have gotten to where you want to be. Pick a few goals and imagine that you have achieved them. Make sure they’re personally meaningful, not external markers of status.
- Visualize what this future-you is like. Imagine all the details of what success looks like. For example, if your dream has always been to be a musician, what does success look like for you? How much do you work? Who do you work with? What do you create? How do you feel about your work?
- Write down all the details of this scenario. Then, imagine what characteristics you will need to use to get you there. For example, becoming a successful musician probably requires things like perseverance, creativity, patience, and energy.
- Consider which of these traits and skills you already have. You may even surprise yourself with what you already know and can do. When you notice traits or skills that need further development, think about ways you can build up those things.
7 Show yourself self-compassion. Beating yourself up
or giving in to negative thoughts can leave you feeling weak and unhappy.
Dwelling on negative thoughts or feelings of guilt doesn’t promote improvement;
it actually holds you back from growing and learning. Instead, show yourself
the same kindness and generosity you should show to a friend.
- Manage stress by prioritizing and doing what's more important promptly. Practice deep breathing, exercising and getting enough rest. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Do more things to protect your health and make goals/choices that lead to success including stronger relationships and better careers. Start your day with positive affirmations, such as “I accept myself today for who I am” or “I am a person worthy of love and respect.”
- Take short “self-compassion” breaks throughout the day. For example, if you’re really swamped with work you might feel overwhelmed or guilty. Use mindfulness to acknowledge how you’re feeling: “I am feeling stressed right now because I have so much to do.” Next, acknowledge that everyone experiences these feelings from time to time: “I’m not alone in feeling this. It’s a natural feeling.” Finally, give yourself a quick compassion boost, such as saying something positive to yourself: “I am capable of getting this done. I can focus and work hard. I am a valuable person on this team.”
- Challenge negative thoughts. We’re often our own worst critics. It can be easy to lapse into self-criticism. Instead, challenge negative thoughts when they show up. For example, if you’re on a diet but had some popcorn at the movies, a self-criticizing thought could be “I ate that popcorn. I’m such a failure on this diet.” Challenge this by showing yourself compassion and making a plan for what you’ll do differently: “I ate that popcorn and it wasn’t part of my healthy eating plan. This isn’t a failure, and I am not ‘bad’ for having had a treat. I will be more mindful of what I eat the rest of the day."
8 Heal past traumas. If you find yourself
consistently feeling down or upset, you might have some underlying issues from
your past holding you back in the present. In the United States a report of
child abuse is made about every 10 seconds. This is only accounting for reports of abuse.
A lot of abuse and other traumatic childhood experiences go unreported to
authorities. Trauma from the past or even just painful circumstances such as
the death of a loved one or a bad break-up can cause mild to severe depression.
If you have tried everything you can think of to make yourself happier, there
is a chance you could be dealing with something along these lines.
- If you have the resources available to you, consider seeking counselling from a licensed professional. The counselor can help you work through the past trauma or painful memories in healthy and safe ways. A counselor can also make referrals for you if you or the counselor feels an anti-depressant medication (for use temporarily or long term depending on your situation) is appropriate for your case. There is nothing wrong with seeking help! If you are feeling really embarrassed or self-conscious about seeing a counselor, you should know they are bound by very strict privacy and confidentiality laws. No one has to know you are receiving therapy except you and your counselor or doctor. Working through past traumas with a counselor may be difficult at the time, but it will greatly increase your quality of life in the long run.
- Many communities and universities offer therapy through low-cost public clinics. Check in your area to see if this is an option.
- Common treatments for trauma include cognitive-behavioral therapy, talk therapy, exposure therapy, and pharmacotherapy. These therapies can help you learn new ways of thinking and responding to situations and process your feelings.
- If you don’t have access to professional counselling services, you could try using self-help books at your local library or talking to someone you trust about your feelings. Religious ministers and support groups are often places to go for free support. Often just the act of talking things out with someone you love and trust and who will support is a healing act in itself.
Visit Again!!! ( to be Continued..)
